time can take its toll on the best of us

I think this first occurred to me when I was listening to my best friend cry on the phone. And then when my little sister was telling me about the girl who had beaten her up. She was also crying. It really hit me when I was crying on the phone, trying not to let someone else hear how much I was hurting.

How can you love someone so much that the sound of their voice on the phone makes your heart break? Every single time.

Because there is someone, a thousand miles away, who is listening to you as well. Who at that moment you would do anything to be next to. Who makes you wish that you were able to teleport. Who makes you want to be more than just your normal self, and be everything and everywhere. Just for them.

It makes you wonder what people did before phones. Not exactly what they did, because you know they wrote letters, but what they did with those feelings of extraordinary longing.

They are absolutely enveloping.

used to be one of the rotten ones

I've realized that it doesn't matter how long I'm awake or how long I'm asleep. It doesn't matter when I finally close my eyes or when I open them, because really, I inevitably come to think of just one thing.

Just one.

A gentle brushing of finger tips, lightly touching my lips. More intimate than a kiss, it's a memory that presses against my mouth. It stays there, settles. Dies. Is reborn. Continues.

I'm quite sick of this and I'd like for it to stop.